GOOD STRESS. BAD STRESS.

In late August, I had the honour of working as a Judge at the 2024 Masters CrossFit Games in (you are reading this right!) Birmingham, Alabama.

If you go look it up on YouTube, scan the judges for a strawberry blond with a white knee sleeve and yup, that’s me.

Certainly, one city in the world I would never have imagined travelling to, but for this opportunity, I would probably go to the moon. I mention this because:

1. It sounds like a crazy thing to have said yes to, which usually helps me find my people, and;
2. I want you to know this about me: every chance I get to witness, take in, soak up and absorb people at their limits, I take it.

To me this was a chance to be part of the machine that helps the best of the best reach their apex at something intrinsically meaningful to them. Sometimes that’s me doing it for me, and sometimes it’s me contributing to the ascent of people like the 35–75-year-old marvels who competed in Birmingham.

That’s right, this was the MASTERS CrossFit Games, so most if not all the athletes are accomplished professionals at something else, with significant wealth, kids and even grandkids, and like me, they use the sport to engage their muscle money mindset.

Now I don’t mention this to suggest any one of us should be or even want to be like them, but I do mention it because I think it’s a healthy habit to share, which is to chase something with all your might when it inspires you, and that means putting yourself under stress to succeed.  And since the recent Client Survey told us that “managing personal and or family stress” ranked neutral to absolutely for over 70% of our clients, I wanted to make space this year to talk about it.

Because it’s true: all the data says stress is killing us! It’s causing so much mental health damage! People talk about it like it’s the end of the world. But IN FACT, stress is another powerful evolutionary tool you need to learn to wield like any other, so when I see our clients wrestling with this powerful force of the human condition, I jump in like an elite athlete at a throwdown.

The truth is, what is killing us is our RESPONSES to the stress: our uses of substances and screens to try to numb ourselves, and our lack of education when it comes to sound recovery protocols. Our decreasing ability to know when enough is enough, and to limit our exposure so that growth, and not deterioration, comes from the grind.

As an athlete and an entrepreneur, many coaches for many years have conditioned my brain to see stress as a necessary component of growth. And this is true so long as a few other conditions are met.

There is what I will call “good stress” and “bad stress.” The good kind is the stuff I’m talking about above – lifting more, running harder, faster, increasing pace and shredding muscle in a way that causes it to grow back stronger. Learning to work a 10-hour day so that an 8-hour day feels easier. Pushing hard to complete a project with a series of all nighters so that the pressure can come off for a short while after. “Bad stress” is usually what happens when we don’t have adequate practice at recovering from those events, or we are perhaps turning to the wrong solutions to recover from stressful instances. We shred the muscle without giving it time or energy to rebuild itself stronger than before.

Enter my fascination with neurochemistry. Now I’m going to use some words today that you wouldn’t often hear from a wealth advisor, but the truth is that chronic stress has chemically eroded our ability to trust, and the resulting feelings of loneliness can dramatically impact the quality of what you thought life would be like.

However, with a few simple reminders, some of which require planning just like investments do, it does not have to be this way, and the neurochemistry of trust can lead to increased life satisfaction. Let me explain.

The Neurochemistry of Stress: Stress is a biological response to perceived threats or challenges. When faced with a stressful situation, the part of the brain called the hypothalamus in the brain responds leading to the release of cortisol, a hormone that helps the body manage stress. While short-term stress can be beneficial and jolts of cortisol are essential to help us effectively deal with the stressful situation, chronic stress has detrimental effects on health, leading to conditions such as anxiety, depression, and cardiovascular disease. Adrenaline and noradrenaline,released by the adrenal medulla, simultaneously prepare the body for a “fight or flight” response, increasing heart rate, blood pressure, and energy supplies. However, prolonged exposure to these stress hormones can impair cognitive function, disrupt sleep, and weaken the immune system.

The Neurochemistry of Trust: Trust is a foundational element of social relationships and community cohesion, and just as importantly, our businesses. Oxytocin, often dubbed the “trust hormone,” plays a crucial role in facilitating trust and social bonding. Released by the pituitary gland, oxytocin enhances feelings of connection and reduces fear and anxiety in social interactions. Studies have shown that higher levels of oxytocin are associated with increased empathy, generosity, and cooperation. This is our goal in working with every client, and when it’s compromised because of chronic stress, we want nothing more than to help restore the balance.

The Neurochemistry of Loneliness: Loneliness is a complex emotional state characterized by a perceived discrepancy between desired and actual social relationships. It activates the same neural pathways as physical pain, suggesting that social pain and physical pain share similar neurobiological mechanisms.

Loneliness triggers the release of cortisol, mirroring the body’s response to stress. Chronic loneliness leads to sustained elevated cortisol levels, contributing to inflammation, reduced immune function, and increased risk of chronic diseases.

So this is a really slippery slope that starts with stress and ends with more stress unless we systematically insert opportunities to feel trust, calm and connection between bouts of stress.

Moreover, loneliness is associated with decreased levels of oxytocin and serotonin, further exacerbating feelings of isolation and disconnection. This is the state we absolutely want to make sure we avoid at all costs.

SOCIETAL FACTORS CONTRIBUTING TO STRESS, TRUST, AND LONELINESS

Robert Putnam, in his seminal work Bowling Alone, highlights the decline in social capital in North American society. Social capital refers to the networks, norms, and trust that facilitate coordination and cooperation for mutual benefit. Putnam argues that the erosion of community engagement and social ties has led to increased feelings of isolation and decreased trust among individuals.

David Spindler’s research on urbanization and modern lifestyles underscores the impact of environmental and societal changes on mental health. The fast-paced, high-stress nature of modern life, coupled with the fragmentation of traditional community structures, has contributed to a rise in stress and loneliness. The digital age, while offering unprecedented connectivity, often results in superficial online interactions that lack the depth and emotional resonance of face-to-face relationships.

I’ve included a couple of links at the end of this article to introduce you to more of their work if you’re interested.

THE NEUROCHEMISTRY OF STRESS, TRUST, AND LONELINESS IN TODAY’S NORTH AMERICAN SOCIETY

Alas, here we are: in contemporary North American society, stress, trust, and loneliness are intricately interwoven phenomena that significantly impact our mental and physical health. And as with any impact on health, this will affect your wealth and your relationships as well. The neurochemical underpinnings of these states reveal the profound ways in which our social environment and daily experiences shape our well-being. In addition the impact of social media, technology, economic and political stressors, and a 24-hour news cycle that will eat you alive if you let it, all contribute to increased levels of chronic stress, eroding our own body’s ability to trust at a chemical level.

SO WHAT CAN WE DO ABOUT IT?

Here are my Top 4 Strategies for Mitigating Stress, Enhancing Trust, and Reducing Loneliness.

Addressing the neurochemical and societal aspects of stress, trust, and loneliness needs only a strong by simple system of commitments you can make starting today.

If you count yourself among the millions who fear burnout and know that there must be a better way to feel, give these a try. It takes one decision, and then it’s done. That simple.

Drawn from leading experts and distilled down to the most powerful four ideas you can implement, here are some strategies:

1. Community Building: Initiatives that encourage social interaction, such as community centers, social clubs, and volunteer opportunities, can enhance social capital and trust. Recently I was on vacation with my sons in Italy, and for the first time in my life I clearly clearly saw that what we do in Canada, and in the GTA in particular, and just about any other North American mega city, is AT BEST sports, entertainment, big box stores, drive thrus, and stock markets. Our lives revolve much more around the construction and exchange of wealth than anything else. Where is the community in that? I’m not saying you can find it or feel it at a Raptors game or a Coldplay concert, but those are expensive and so there we are again with needing wealth to feel anything good! It’s not as sustainable as a day or week that includes a slice of good old-fashioned community with likeminded people you can talk with.
2. Mindfulness and Stress Reduction: Practices such as mindfulness meditation, yoga, and regular physical activity can reduce stress and lower cortisol levels. I recently watched a documentary about Thich Nhat Hanh during which I concretely realized that his legacy was truly about gathering up people by the thousands to walk together, slowly in meditation, thinking nothing but positive thoughts. If everyone did this, how different would our chronic stress stats be? How different would our world be? That’s a movement I could get behind.
3. Positive Social Interactions: Welcome face-to-face interactions and nurturing close relationships as this can boost oxytocin levels and foster trust. We all went through this weird period in 2020 when we couldn’t see people. It was followed by another couple of years where we still didn’t really do conferences and social gatherings in the same way as we did pre-2020. This had a lasting impact on our chemistry, so developing a system to reincorporate face to face encounters in your day and week every week, can boost your chronic stress busting superpowers.
4. Digital Detox: Limit your screen time and prioritize in-person interactions as this can reduce the negative impact of social media on mental health. Nothing makes me crazier than taking up a conversation with a person only to have them pull out their phone and look at it. I know they don’t know they’re doing it, but they are addicted to the dopamine hit they are used to getting by experiencing motion pictures and constant novelty and information. It doesn’t make it healthy, and limiting screens is a super easy way to regain your ability to see, connect and trust.

CONCLUSION

The neurochemistry of stress, trust, and loneliness are deeply connected to social and environmental factors and have a massive impact on our individual and collective mental health. In today’s North American society, the erosion of social capital, technological changes, and economic stressors contribute to heightened stress, decreased trust, and increased loneliness. By addressing these issues through community engagement, mental health initiatives, and supportive policies, we can foster a more connected, trusting, and resilient society.

It probably won’t surprise you to hear that my 5 days working at The Masters CrossFit Games gave me a healthy dose of all four of the above remedies and sent me home committed as ever to return there one day soon, but next time on the athlete’s side of the competition floor.

Until that happens, I’ll be using “good stress” to get stronger.

By Gillian Stovel Rivers, MA, CFP®, CEA
Senior Wealth Advisor
Surround Wealth Advisors
Assante Financial Management Ltd.

Further reading: In case you would like to read more by people way smarter than me!

Putnam, R. D. (2000). “Bowling Alone: The Collapse and Revival of American Community“. Simon & Schuster

Roll, R. & Spindler, D. (2024). “Mark Cavendish’s Neuroscientist: Use Your Brain Chemistry For Peak Performance“. from The Rich Roll Podcast

The opinions expressed are those of the author and not necessarily those of Assante Financial Management Ltd. This material is provided for general information and the opinions expressed and information provided herein are subject to change without notice. Every effort has been made to compile this material from reliable sources however no warranty can be made as to its accuracy or completeness. Before acting on the information presented, please seek professional financial advice based on your personal circumstances.